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Why am "I Invisible?" Who said "I'm chronic?"

How did I wake up on a Sunday morning so different? I mean, What the hell!

Who unplugged me? I'm different - But I look the same.

IS THIS A JOKE? This is not funny....


This world is surreal, Is this a dream? I mean a nightmare...


Life as I knew it was gone in the blink of an eye. One swift moment changed everything--


Hi, My name is Carmen- Carmen Gonzales as a matter of fact, and I'm here to share my journey of a *1chronic illness. One that is *2invisible to the public eye, which makes it hard to navigate in a world where people consider visibility equal to credibility.


Many years ago, I was normal- well kinda normal, I mean, WHAT IS NORMAL, really?

I was happy and healthy, Living the typical "American Life" I had two beautiful two children, one in high school-one in college; a nice little log cabin- set back among some beautiful oak trees, just outside a quiet little town. I worked hard, loved my career- It was never a job, it did have its challenges-I faced them head on. Climbed each corporate ladder I came to, always striving to be at the top, to be the best that I can be, gave 110% to every day!


I lived for my FAMILY, especially my kids. I lived with FAITH, knowing God would guide down the right path to be a good person; a loving daughter, the perfect sister (Jan and Tim - you can laugh at that), a good friend and a mom- one that my children could be proud of....


My children are my WORLD, even more so now, because my world was turned upside down.... Shaken to the core and dumped out on the bathroom floor Leaving them to pick me up and make me whole.


One beautiful Sunday morning, thirteen years ago, was the day an invisible condition, which I didn't even know I had, became visible for a brief few moments. The look in my sons eyes, as he gently picked me up off the bathroom floor, put some clothes on my naked and helpless body, will never stop haunting me. We cried, all the way to the hospital- All I knew was my face hurt. I had blood gushing from my chin, my face was immediately turning shades of black n blue- several of my teeth were missing, apparently they were still laying on the bathroom floor!


Little did I think, I would never be the same again- My children will never be the same again. From that point forward our rolls had reversed. I went from a career driven, single mom, who had the world by the ass and was moving/shaking my way through LIFE.


Enjoying every adventure, to a person who depended on their children to meet the basic needs in order to function. Simple things like a shower, a hot meal and a trip to the grocery were difficult...


Within the next couple of weeks, I will share the remainder of this journey and how I climbed out of a black hole from hell.... Just to tell YOU about it.


But, I will take a brief moment to say " my children did a fantastic job" because of them- I'm here today, Because of them- I find the strength to make every a good day, Because of family and faith- I am whole again, Thank you


(*1-chronic illness is a health condition or disease that is persistent or otherwise long-lasting in its effects or a disease that comes with time. The term chronic is often applied when the course of the disease lasts for more than three months)

(*2-The term invisible illness refers to any medical condition that is not outwardly visible to others, even healthcare professionals. Invisible illnesses encompass a broad range of conditions, including heart disease, diabetes, dementia, psychiatric illness, autoimmune disorders, and even cancer.)

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4 Comments


i think so many in the dysautonomia community will relate to your story. For some, it may be as dramatic of a change as yours. For others, it Might not be as severe but still life altering. Thank you for sharing your story.

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dysloucarmen
dysloucarmen
Oct 02, 2022
Replying to

Good Morning Cindy, Thank you for reading my blog and commenting. Life altering it has been, I share because in the middle of all this mess I have found peace. Hugs to you and prays to you, hope you have a good day.

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So relatable, who knew donating blood for a American Red Cross ….. would change my life.

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dysloucarmen
dysloucarmen
Oct 02, 2022
Replying to

Missy, Thank you for your comment, I cant express enough how quickly things can change on a dime. They wont get it... till they get it! Hope you are doing well and finding your way through this, enough to enjoy the good days.

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